home.

This song brought tears to my eyes this morning. I've heard it a thousand times, but today something struck me...



I've been feeling pretty homesick the past couple of days. If I'm busy job hunting or cooking dinner with Marty, I don't feel much of it. But it's in the moments when I'm by myself or thinking about Colorado that I feel it the most. After searching my heart this morning, I realized something: I miss home because that's where I found my identity. I found my identity in the people I surrounded myself with, in the comfort I felt, in the things I did. Now I don't have those things anymore... I have a new love, a new place to live, and new things to do in life.

Maybe... just maybe... God has taken me out of Colorado not only to fall deeper in love with a wonderful man, but to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Because no matter where I am or what I'm doing...

...HE is home.

He moves mountains

The kid is sleeping, the french press is brewing, and it's time for me to blog about the weekend in the mountains.

This last weekend was the Young Life fall retreat for staff, leaders, and college students from the Front Range (From Pueblo all the way to Laramie!). We took 27 girls and 9 guys from CU up to Crooked Creek. It was an intentional time of precious community, valuable conversations (we were encouraged to go deep rather than dabble), and laughter. It was good for the students to get away from Boulder and to experience God... many in new, refreshing ways.

The theme of the weekend was Luke 10:27... " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " We talked about loving God with all that we are and that God Is. The first night, we had to write our own interpretation to the verse. I wrote:

Put God first, in His most rightful place. In my core, my breath, my waking and sleeping. In my emotions, relationships, joys and tears. In my knowing and unknowing. In my passions, my gifts, my chores, my desires, my words and my actions.

Love God. Love people.

I've been a Christian for a while and felt convicted with the fact that I'm not often amazed by God.

"Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5

The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" Matthew 8:27

"The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law." Mark 1:22

"He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, 'We have never seen anything like this!'" Mark 2:12

I know that God does amazing things every day... it's me who doesn't see them.

The whole CU crew went for a hike on Saturday afternoon. We didn't really get to a specific destination, but at one point Paul (our leader) stopped us and talked about how Jesus would go to the mountains to spend time with His Father.

He went to the mountains to gain perspective. And so did I.

While we were spending some time with the Lord on the hike, God reminded me of something really neat: the last time I was at a Young Life camp (in November of 2000), I met Christ for the first time in a real, personal way. It was there that I trusted Christ. I felt God telling me "look at all I've done in your life since then." Great perspective! I was able to dwell on the fact that God has moved in mighty ways in my life. I sat in silence with my God and was truly amazed.

::A few pictures from the weekend::

carpool buddies... liz and anna

mealtimes are noisy and fun at camp!

"...and he will make my paths straight..."

paul, brittney, skyler, and me... fun friends!
brittney and i had no clue we were matching til it was time to leave...

we are beyond!

I also appreciated just how simple the worship was during the weekend. Two guitars. One drum. And 500 voices all singing to their King...

I'm so thankful for a weekend full of perspective and friends!

On new friends and faith

::new friends::
I've gotten the PRIVILEGE to lead with Younglife at CU. College freshmen are unique in that they're so excited to start fresh and to explore who they really are. They ask questions. They're willing to hear answers. They want to hang out at a coffee shop. They're adventurous. They're excited about their new surroundings. It's a special time.

Meet my new friends Anna and Grace. Anna is from the DC area and Grace is from LA. Two different sides of the country and already they've become great friends. Last weekend, Marty and I gave them a ride from CU to the Boulder Res. I knew we'd be fast friends. On Friday, my friend Cynthia (another Beyond leader from Chicago) and I went to a beautiful tea house in Boulder with Grace and Anna. We sat and talked while drinking chai and enjoying new friendships.

I'm excited about my friendship with Anna, Grace, and Cynthia. We get along really well and are always thinking of fun things to do. I'm all for showing the out-of-towners around my state!

waterskiing... anna, grace and me

anna, cynthia, me and grace
at the dushanbe tea house

I'm playing at Flatirons this weekend. So fun! I showed up to rehearsal yesterday to a great birthday cake from one of the vocalists... Thanks, Sonja!

what a fun cake! tasty, too...

::faith::
Playing weekends at Flatirons is such a gift. It's a wonderful way for me to get involved and to use the gifts God has given me. Plus, it's a stinkin' blast! The series is "House of Cards" and Jim (our pastor) is talking about faith and how if we lean our faith on anything other than Jesus and the "sweet swap", it'll collapse. It's a challenging thing to think about what I put my faith in. It's so true... if it's not Jesus, it's a matter of time before I'm let down.

Hebrews 12 : 2-3... "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Sometimes it's tempting to only look at what is in front of me. It's when I look to Jesus - fix my eyes on Him - and realize just what He did for me on the cross 2,000 years ago that I'm able to gain perspective and to trust Him.

The last song we play each service says it all so well...

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' Name

When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my Hope and Stay

When He shall come with trumpet sound
Oh may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
Faultless to stand before the throne

Oh Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand...

That's faith.

Jehovah-jireh

I want to be like my friends who blog. It's a neat way to keep track of what's going on in each others lives.... So here I go, I'm beginning this journey with my new blog.

I'm amazed at the Lord's provision. In fact, I'm quite blown away. Ever since I graduated back in May, He's shown me that He will indeed take care of me... not always in the ways that I want or expect, but in His perfect way.

I just started an awesome job as a nanny for a 10-month-old named Bjorn. He's a sweet baby who likes to show off his skills: clapping and saying "moo" when I say "Bjorn, a cow says....". I spend 9 hours a day with him, Monday through Thursday. We get to hang out, go for walks, go to the park, work on eating finger foods (Moms -- any ideas? He's getting a little bored with Cheerios). But what blessed me this morning was realizing that while he's napping in the morning, I get to spend time with the Lord. So, the Lord has provided for me a job where I'll get to know Him more intimately. Bjorn's parents are great, too... I'm glad they trust me with their baby!

Baby Bjorn

I'm not one to worry too much about money, but up until last week, I had been jobless since November. November 19, to be exact. I didn't know where I was going to come up with finances to last me til the middle of January (with Christmas and a vacation in Phoenix thrown in the mix). It's been such a treat to watch the Lord provide for me in tangible ways through a ton of odd jobs... House sitting, babysitting, heading to Downtown Denver to watch some kids, and even gracious parents who lovingly support me while still encouraging me to become completely independent.

I was discouraged about the lack of friends in my life. The Lord gave me a great roommate last fall (roommate by force) named Elise, and we've gotten to hang out and become closer since she lives just over in Boulder. She's living with her parents, too... Really, all the cool kids are doing it. We've gotten involved at our church, Flatirons, and have met some fun and neat friends there. We're going rock climbing with the guys tonight... The guys are great rock climbers, we are not. Wish us luck.

The weather today is awesome... I love love LOVE Colorado! I think it's going to get up to 65 degrees (and yes, it is January 19), so in a little bit, Bjorn and I are going to walk to the park.